The other day I received a message out of the blue from a friend of mine, saying she was deleting me from Facebook because her new boyfriend didn’t want anyone she’d previously slept with on her profile.
(Just to give you a bit of context, we slept together once a few years ago, and whilst it was ok, there really wasn’t any chemistry there so we decided to just remain friends.)
I was kind of shocked to receive this message to be honest. This isn’t some teenager/early 20s person just figuring out relationships (and if you thought that’s who I was sleeping with when I was single in my early 30s…just…no) – this is a woman in her 30s who spent most of her 20s in a long-term relationship that…wasn’t great. She really should be able to spot red flags.
Who the hell starts dating a woman in their 30s and is scared that she has a sexual history? Ok, I’d understand if there was a jealous ex involved who was trying to sabotage the relationship, but this is a friend I bump into or chat with maybe once a month at best (I honestly hadn’t noticed she’d deleted me until she messaged me). Because the rock/alternative/geeky/interesting community in Liverpool isn’t as big as other cities, once you pass 30 there’s going to be fewer degrees of separation between people you date/sleep with if you stay in the same area. I know a few of Lady Sharky’s previous sexual partners in passing – if anything it just spurs me to be better than they were!
I’ve posted the conversation below. I’ve censored out names and addresses, but otherwise this is every message and reply as it appears in my phone. Would you have replied any differently? As a man, should have I just meekly accepted this and said “OK hun. Hope it works out”? Have you ever asked your partner to delete their friends on social media? Let me know your thoughts.
Be Safe and Be Sexy