There’s nothing more gratifying as a man than when your partner says you’ve built up her self-confidence and body-image, especially when you think she’s the most beautiful woman in the universe. To that end, Lady Sharky and I have been enjoying the delights of the cowgirl and reverse-cowgirl positions. Whilst it’s always nice when a lady gets on top, when she sits up straight and rides you, it’s positively mind-blowing. Especially when they are as bodaciously curvaceous as Lady Sharky (see previous blog entries for photos).
They’re not positions Lady Sharky has much experience of in her past sexual history, due to the aforementioned self-confidence and body-image issues. Thankfully, we have progressed to the stage in the relationship where she trusts that I do, indeed, see her as an incredibly beautiful, stunning, sexy lady. So it took a lot for her to sit up and own the fact that she was in control of an amazingly sexy curvy body, and that that body blows my mind!
At the risk of stating the obvious, from a man’s perspective, the Cowgirl really is an amazing position. It allows for extra deep penetration, and we get to witness our partners’ amazing bodies in all their glory. Yes, surprise surprise, bouncing boobs are great to watch, and if our partner has sensitive nipples that enjoy being played with (as Lady Sharky’s do), then it affords us the opportunity to easily stimulate them at m’Lady’s pleasure. The Reverse Cowgirl allows those of us who have an affinity for the derriere (which I do) to appreciate it in all its glory, and if our partners enjoy a bit of anal play (which Lady Sharky does), then we can insert a finger at m’Lady’s pleasure.
But from speaking to Lady Sharky, it’s more than that. My obvious enjoyment of her body makes her feel sexy (something she’s not used to), she’s in total control of herself, her body, and the rate and depth of penetration. She also likes to stimulate her clit whilst on top of me, so combine that with her controlled riding, my manually stimulating her nipples and my limited upward thrusting (you can’t just lay there guys, you have to lock into the rhythm of her riding), and you have the makings of some amazing orgasms. And I can say, with no small degree of pride, that Lady Sharky had never cum whilst on top before until I worked with her to achieve that beautiful beautiful goal.
So whilst I try and subdue my over-inflated ego, my message here is to any guy who is dating a curvaceous lady; show her how beautiful you think they are, go lingerie shopping together (one of my favourite couple’s pastimes) and discuss what items you like and what she will feel sexy in, pay attention to every inch of her body – not just the obvious erogenous zones – during foreplay, don’t be afraid to publicly express how beautiful she is (taking photos is good too – but only if she consents to it) – the bodaciously curvaceous ladies aren’t well served by mainstream media, so real men have to step up and…ahem…fill the void. Because at the end of the day, women of all shapes and sizes want to feel beautiful and enjoy sex, and if she feels confident in herself, her body, and your love for her body, that’s when sex becomes even more amazing.
And to any curvy ladies reading, you are beautiful. But as much as I want to believe that all men are capable of doing everything I’ve just mentioned in the above paragraph, some may need a little help. I speak from the point of view of someone who worked a lot on my own confidence issues in my youth to the point where I now would describe myself as a confident man. A lot of men might not be able to say the same (or worse, have misplaced confidence) and thanks to toxic masculinity, don’t want to admit it. Building confidence in a sexual relationship is a two-way street. Don’t be afraid to own that shit, if you want to take control, take control; get on top of your man (either his face or his cock) and ride him hard – if he can’t handle the shift in the power dynamic, work with him. He may not be used to a confident curvy lady – get him used to your body. Explore it together – trust me, the results are worth it.
(You’ll notice I try and avoid the terms ‘BBW’ or ‘Plus-Sized’ when describing larger, curvy ladies. Partly because I’ve yet to ascertain what Lady Sharky’s feelings on the terms are, but also because the terms are also used a lot in porn to fetishise larger ladies, and the line between healthy and unhealthy is very fine. It’s ok to like curvy ladies, but not at the expense of personalities. Any sexual relationship beyond a one-night stand should, first and foremost, involve a connection at a personal level. Whilst yes, purely aesthetically I enjoy curvy ladies, I don’t date them exclusively. A slim woman I click with on a personal level will always be more attractive than a curvy lady I have zero chemistry with. I can confidently say that I would still love Lady Sharky – and have amazing sex with her – were she a slim petite woman. If you’re reading this because I put ‘BBW’ in the tags and you were hoping for porn, I hope you learned something!)
Be Safe and Be Sexy