Dressing Down/Hello to new readers

First of all, hello to anyone who’s just discovered my blog. My aim here is to offer a glimpse into the more adult side of my life, and (with full consent) my Lady Sharky’s. I’m a very open person, but I don’t believe that everything needs to be plastered on everyone’s Facebook newsfeed. So I have this blog for people who want to hear about it. Things can and do get very candid and explicit about my sex life, including photos. You’ll read about sex toy reviews, swingers clubs, private encounters, relationship issues and more. My aim is to provide an insight into a world about which there are many misconceptions. Please, feel free to ask questions, either in the comments or on Facebook Messenger/WhatsApp if you know me personally (don’t be embarrassed – if you’re reading this, I obviously trust you enough to have given you the link. All I ask is that you be discrete, as I don’t share this blog with everybody I know). Thanks to everyone who shared feedback on Lady Sharky’s lingerie outfits in my previous entry (you can still leave feedback if you want). The general consensus so far is that the Purple outfit looks prettier, but Lady Sharky looks happier wearing the Red outfit.

If anyone is on FabSwingers.com (the main Swingers website) you can find mine and Lady Sharky’s profile at MaraudersMap (“We solemnly swear that we are up to no good!”). If you message us on there, please put ‘Sharkasm’ in the message header so we know you found us through this blog.


So following on from our discussions yesterday, Lady Sharky and I were chatting about the differences between the swingers clubs we’ve been to. Myself, in previous relationships, frequented Merseyside’s own Townhouse on The Wirral, whereas Lady Sharky frequented Cupids in Manchester as a ‘Unicorn’ (single bisexual female – rare in the swinging world which is mainly couples-based). We still haven’t been to a club yet as a couple – it’s not something you can force. We’re just waiting until in naturally feels right, which I’d advise everyone thinking about attending one to do.

Anyway, one difference that was highlighted was in both clubs’ ‘Dress Down’ policy. Dressing Down is a term in swinging referring to when club/party goers change out of their street clothes into swinging attire; typically lingerie for a ladies, underwear or a towel for men (I favour just a towel myself as I’ve misplaced underwear in clubs!). Cupids, I am told, favours a ‘Dress Down on Entry’ policy, getting everyone out of their street clothes and on a ‘level playing field’ (so to speak) early on. Townhouse, on the other hand, is a bit different. It’s set over three floors, and the ground floor is primarily for socialising. Here, people can remain in their street clothes, have a drink at the bar, socialise, dance on the dancefloor, relax on the sofas. The changing room/lockers are on the first floor, the first and second floors being ‘Dress Down’ and where all the play areas are. (Nobody’s going to stop you dressing down on the ground floor as well, especially as the hot tub/sauna area is in an annex off the ground floor).

I think which system you prefer depends on what you start with and are used to. Personally, I think both systems have their merits. A ‘Dress Down on Entry’ system, as I mentioned, creates a level swinging playing field. Swinging, as I think I’ve mentioned before on this blog but which I’ll say again, is a great leveller. Whether your young, old, fat, thin, tall, short, abled, disabled, cixs, trans, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation or social class – everyone’s there because they enjoy sex. Cutting out the clothes gets rid of any residual awkwardness and social class, and let’s be honest, enjoying everyone being naked/near-naked is part of the fun!

On the other hand, having a designated social area before the Dressing Down can help people relax. A swingers club, you have to remember, is a lot like any other social club – friends like to meet up, catch up on their lives, have a drink or two (although drunkenness/drug use is a major no-no at clubs and will get you kicked out). For new swingers, dipping their toe in the waters for the first time, the play areas can be a bit daunting at first. A social area can help them decide whether they want to take the next step. I should point out that there is never any pressure to take that next step at a club – indeed, plenty of people just like going for the social side, or to watch the action from the sidelines.

Lady Sharky says she prefers the Cupids ‘Dress Down on Entry’ system, and therefore she wants our first experience together at a club to be somewhere familiar and comfortable for her. I stressed yesterday that mental health is as important as sexual health in swinging, and personally I like letting the ladies take the lead in swinging, even if they are naturally the more submissive in the relationship. To be honest, I quite like the idea of a well-managed ‘Dress Down on Entry’ system. As a self-confessed exhibitionist (something swinging compliments well) who enjoys being naked anyway, I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable, and if my Lady feels comfortable as well, then that’s a recipe for happy swinging.

But what about you? If you’re swingers, what system do you prefer? If you’re not, if you were to go to a club which system do you think you’d prefer to start with? Feedback and questions are always welcome, either in the comments or privately, and I promise to answer any question within reason honestly.

Be Safe and Be Sexy


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