Sorry it’s been a while. My life isn’t always filled with interesting goings-on. Sometimes it’s actually quite boring. Was alone on Halloween. That sucked. It used to be all about sex, junk food and horror/cult movies. These days I’m on a diet (more on that later) and nobody invites me anywhere. Go figure.
My SO and I went to a Hard Rock festival the other weekend. I paid a lot of money for it (she’s still in debt while her career takes off). In terms of the number of bands I saw, it probably wasn’t good value for money (especially as one of the early advertised bands that convinced me to buy the ticket in the first place pulled out with no announcement) but I still enjoyed myself. Not sure if she did though. She spent a lot of time slagging off one of my favourite bands, which upset me a bit. We tease each other a lot about our different music tastes, but generally we enjoy going to see each other’s bands.
One thing that festivals are good for though is morning sex (especially if you have your own hotel room rather than camping). If you have an intense sex drive, several hours on your feet at a festival doesn’t make for good sex at the end of the night. But as you don’t have to get up too early in the morning, you can sleep it off and be ready to go when you wake up.
What made this even more special was that she was instigating it as much as I was. As you may have seen from previous blogs, I – like I suspect most men – get very self-conscious and paranoid when my partner never instigates sex. And for someone who’s already self-conscious about many things, it just makes things worse. So it was nice that she seemed positive about sex again.
Here’s a weird thing. Cunnilingus gets rid of morning breath. Or at least it does for me. Here’s your homework for today boys and girls – go down on a lady in the morning and tell me if your morning breath is gone when you come back up. And because we were at a festival – no neighbours to bother, no child to keep quiet for – we could let loose a bit. It was great – more of this please!
Sadly, since we came back we’ve been getting stuck in the same old ruts again. As I may have mentioned, my SO is in the public eye somewhat and her commitments keep her extremely busy. I only really get to see her at weekends, and even then we can hardly ever go out and do anything.
My other occasional partners are all otherwise occupied. I need a regular partner who might enjoy my company a few days a week. Not just in a sexual way. But someone who might want to go out and experience life (or just curl up next to me with a DVD).
Trouble is, my self-image is shattered at the moment. I’ve put on a load of weight over the last few months which got me down since I spent Spring getting rid of it in the first place. And for someone who isn’t attractive in the conventional sense to begin with, any perceived imperfection gets magnified. But I’m taking positive steps. I’m on a new healthy eating regime which has yielded results in its first week. I think I’m ready to put myself back on a dating website and see what happens. My SO knows I’m frustrated – it’s what caused our temporary break-up earlier this year and the re-definition to our relationship – so she supports the idea. Right now her career is more important and I support everything she does. We have a long-term commitment which is so strong that it’s not going to be ruined by our external partners.
Which is a nice place to be.