Something for the weekend

My main partner had one of her other gents around at hers today (we don’t live together). Which means I get a juicy sexy story to look forward to at the weekend. He even brought her flowers. Awww – I don’t think her timid little pups are used to such a strong woman! She still has to help him put a condom on though, which still annoys me (this guy’s in his 20s). Probably best I’m not involved with this one, as I’d totally call him out on this.

In other news, my friend, professional vlogger Torathena, sent me an amusing article about world records of sex. I’m not sure what’s more worrying, that she thought of me when she came across this article, that I’ve actually seen the footage of the world’s largest orgy (250 Japanese couples, all synchronised so that they thrust, change position and even cum at the same time – weird, but strangely hypnotic), or that when I read one of them I thought to myself, “I could beat that!”

The record in question? Most male orgasms in an hour. Current record according to the article; 16. I knock out 3 or 4 in the average 15 minute wank session if I’m really horny. Admittedly, after that many even the male brain gets a bit disgusted and thinks “I really should clean-up” (how that guy managed to keep jacking it for over 9 hours, I don’t know). But I wonder if I could knock out 16?

What are the criteria for this record? Firstly, is the record through masturbation or actual sex? Whilst I can have multiple orgasms during sex, it’s a lot more difficult and I’ve found it easier to just teach myself how to delay an orgasm. Assuming masturbation (because I don’t want to subject any woman to this ordeal hahaha), do I need to remain erect the entire time, or can I do half, have a short break, and re-harden and finish off within the hour? How is the orgasm judged – as any man who’s discovered the secret of multiple orgasms knows, after a few you run out of cum i.e. physical evidence of the orgasm. Would electrodes need to be attached to my brain to confirm the orgasm? Who exactly administers these records? Guinness? Doesn’t sound like the sort of thing they’d usually deal in. Would probably have to be a private study. Who would I have to contact? And how would that initial conversation go – “Hey, I reckon I can cum more than 16 times in an hour. Come and study me!”

I’ve thought way too much about this. And this isn’t even the first time; efukt, which is a website you should only visit if you are mentally prepared to handle some of the strangest, weirdest legal sexual shit on the internet (come to think of it, it might have been where I saw the 250 couple orgy video), had a video a while back of a male porn star who, in one seemingly unedited scene, visibly came 3 times in 90 seconds (I’m unable to find it on a quick search of the site, but it’s there somewhere). For fun, I sometimes try and beat that in my own personal sessions.

So far I’ve been unsuccessful.

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