Thought on condoms

All photos are from my personal collection and are not to be shared without my permission.

Without fail, every time I buy condoms from Tesco and use the self-checkouts (I used to work for Tesco – the machines still obey me!), they will set of the security alarms upon exit, forcing me to remove the condoms from my bag and exclaim “It’s these!”, and then the worried realisation that I opted not to get a receipt from the self-checkout. Not that I’m embarrassed in the slightest about buying condoms – I once replied “Nah, she’s not that ugly!” when a cashier asked me whether I needed a bag for them – but nobody needs that hassle.

Fun fact? Do you know why condoms are often sold in protective cases in some supermarkets? Because a cruel practical ‘joke’ is to get a really thin needle and poke holes through the box, rendering the condoms useless. I went to Catholic school – you learn these things!

Random thought; as a somewhat strange individual in my early 20s, I went through a phase where I would only buy black condoms because I thought they looked cool. I haven’t seen black condoms in years – do they still exist? I kind of want to track them down now and relieve my youth!

I’ve been toying with the idea of filming a short video showing how easy putting a condom on should be. And as a somewhat larger individual, dispel the myth that some cocks are too big for condoms. I’ve mentioned on here before about how I had to teach a partner how to put a condom on me while I was tied up. I feel like if women – and maybe some men – saw exactly how one is affixed by someone who knows what they’re doing, it might help them feel more comfortable and confident in safe sex. Plus, putting a condom on an uncircumcised penis (like mine) is slightly different to putting one on a circumcised penis – the roll back can pull the foreskin back slightly, so it’s useful to pull the foreskin up slightly before the roll back.

If I can convince one of my friends or partners to film it for me, I might do it. I genuinely don’t remember learning how to put a condom on in sex education in the aforementioned Catholic school – one hopes that normal schools are a bit more thorough. But just in case they’re not, I figure it might help some people.

Because you don’t want to be missing out on great sex because you can’t put on a condom.

DressUp 015

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