Relationship Goals

So I’m getting closer to being comfortable enough to search for a new relationship.

To clarify, I maintain relationships with a few women, but hardly any in my home city. Open long distance relationships are somewhat easier to maintain than long distance monogamous relationships, and I maintain them with the same vigour, heart and love that do with local partners.

However, my local partners are very busy, professional women with careers, families and – yes – other partners. I generally only see them on one, maybe two evenings a week. Recently, I’ve been experiencing an urge for something a bit more regular. Don’t get me wrong, I like my alone time very much and it’s very important to me. But I feel it would be nice to have someone to spend a bit more time with. Someone I could go out for drinks with after work, or chill out whilst watching a movie, or spontaneous trips to see gigs, to the cinema, or any of the other many interesting things to do in Liverpool during the week. I’d like a long-term thing, but I’m open to a shorter casual friendly relationships as well.

Also, my usual swinging partner is taking a break from the swinging scene for the foreseeable future. It would be a bonus to find a partner interested in that world. I do enjoy the swinging scene, but I don’t have much interest in going to clubs on my own. For one thing, swinging is mainly a couples activity. Single men are generally restricted, both by limiting how many can be in the club of an evening (although not every club does this, I prefer the ones that do), by making their entry more expensive, and by only allowing them in certain areas of the club. From my experience of witnessing them in my local club, they’re often rich older gentlemen with grating personalities (which I think is a good indicator as to why they don’t have partners in the first place), who hang around outside the rooms, masturbating, and hoping that maybe a couple will invite them to join in. Pretty sad.

But swinging isn’t really a requirement in my relationships, even with my fetish of witnessing my partners with other guys. I’m quite happy to maintain an intense one-on-one sexual relationship with the right person. I have no preference of dominant or submissive as I myself switch depending on the needs of the individual. I’m open to getting involved with a couple if the situation was right.

I guess this entry was more to get things sorted in my head and figure out what I want before I want it; a relationship with a strong independent woman who, if she doesn’t have other relationships of her own, is accepting of mine. A woman who enjoys being spontaneous some nights and snuggling on the sofa on other nights. A woman who isn’t afraid to be sexual. A woman who isn’t afraid to tell me when she wants to be alone and accepts when I want to be alone. A woman who enjoys film, tv, music, reading, writing, singing…and can handle all my quirks and eccentricities (including my blog – although obviously I keep everything anonymous on here).

I’m still not quite at the stage of asking anyone out yet – I need to move into my new flat first. I’m rather ashamed of the one I live in right now – it was a cheap thing I moved into whilst I set up my business. Now that my business is doing well, I can afford to move into somewhere a bit nicer that I can add my own personal touch to. I hate not sleeping in a bed I picked out myself – imagine how hard it would be to ask a woman to share it with me. It also doesn’t help that all my books are being stored at my parents’ house – no self-respecting woman is going to go home with a man who doesn’t appear to have books in his home.

If anyone has any recommendations for poly/swing/kink-friendly dating websites, feel free to let me know.

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